I don't have much to do online and was browsing over the pics that I have a couple of years back in Multiply. Though there was a lot a lot conspiracies, issues and a lot of bickering at that time, the photos that I have back then shows me smiling , laughing and even with my head thrown back with my throat exposed because of my big grin.
It's funny how I tried erasing those memories but when I look at those pictures, I found myself wishing that I can still be that smiling girl laughing her head off over something that's incredibly simple. Maybe it's the way that I always have faith that regardless of the bad things that are happening around me, I still have something to look forward to. I guess I kinda lost that part of me and instead of concentrating on what good I have in my life, I start zooming in on what I don't have or those that I am the verge of losing. The negativity started seeping inside me and whatever cheerfulness I have is slowly draining out of me, replaced by an overwhelming combination of self pity, anger and jealousy.
Maybe it's just the pictures showing something that is untrue or it is possible that maybe I was indeed happier at that time. Or maybe I am just feeling under the weather today...Will try to sleep it off if not i'll just rely on my dresses to make me feel good and beautiful. :)
1 comment:
Things change as you grow and as you get responsibilities. And the same school days, college days...days spent with friends wont come back, they would just be memories. So sometimes we would just be nostalgic looking back. Getting back to those days might not be possible, but you can always live those beautiful memories and take its strength to cheer yourself. Probably you could do something else which would bring back that same spark in you.
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